Google's impressive grasp of penis euphemisms (NSFW)

I was so impressed with Google’s grasp of my crude and somewhat gruesome search query, that it prompted me to write a blog post about it… which is saying something, as it's been more than a year since I found time to write anything worth reading!

This afternoon, during a brief break away from my client work, I was pondering the plight of that poor chap who had his manhood amputated (allegedly) by some local gypsies in Mordor Middlesbrough after he slept with one of their girlfriends.

So I Googled it.



I could have searched for “Middlesbrough man penis” or something like that, but it would likely have brought up stories I’ve already read. I didn't want to read the whole story over again - I just wanted an update. My question was quite simple, if rather unsophisticated.

So I just went ahead and asked it: "have they found that man's cock yet?”

A simple enough question, but unlikely to yield any useful results, right?

I chuckled to myself cynically as I hit Enter, and then stopped suddenly when I saw what came back. To my surprise, Google knew exactly what I was looking for, and delivered to me the very latest updates from the saga, in an attempt to answer my question.

I was intrigued to see how far I could push this, experimenting with a range of other euphemisms for “penis”. I finally drew a blank when I got into more localised euphemisms - it seems that Google doesn’t have a strong grasp of the word "nob" just yet.